The Wisdom of Food
Anyone who knows me, knows I really enjoy food. My attachment to food though has a lot less to do with “feeding the hangry beast” and a lot more to do with what it represents.
Food is my heritage, a form of dissent, a reason to connect, as well as a reality check-in a word, wisdom. In this blog, I am going to talk about some of the insights food has taught me.
Early Years and Food
My childhood was rich in Southeast and East Asian food: Sinigang, Adobo, Curries, Miso Soup, Natto, and steaming bowls of white rice. Being peppered with compliments in Japanese and English for eating well was a daily source of happiness.
Then I became a teenager in the predominantly white communities of New England, where girls were accepted as thin or athletic. Most of the girls I knew were asking themselves if they deserved to “indulge” themselves in food.
I was lucky enough to realize that a fraught relationship with food was just a symptom of a visceral dislike of diverse female bodies. Nonetheless, I became accustomed to maintaining the illusion that I earned the food I ate.
Some of the girls I cherished were not as lucky. For all of us, but most of all for those beautiful, kind, smart girls, my heart breaks.
Seeking a way out
I think what kept me at a distance from this threat to our collective well-being were my summer trips home to Japan, where I was reminded that relationships with foods could look very different.
While food was not the deciding factor to moving abroad, it certainly added to my growing list of reasons to leave the USA.
I was eager to explore my relationship with myself in different spaces. I couldn’t do that in what felt like an oppressive homogeneity that was imposed on girls the minute they grew breasts.
For this reason, I was overjoyed to be selected at a college with stellar study abroad programs in Toulouse, France and Nagoya, Japan.
We don’t run here
I arrived in Toulouse in the summer of 2012, and it started with a bang. With my limited French, my host maman and I had very little to discuss. We ate instead, and it was a revelation.
She cooked potatoes fried in duck fat with thin slices of duck. Salad came after (not before!). Then came cheese, an orange, topped off with espresso. And it was only two in the afternoon on day one.
Feeling a little guilty, I indicated to her that I should go for a run. She said, we don’t do that here and that a nap would suffice just fine.
That pattern of eating well, gentle movement, or just a good old fashioned nap cured me of any lingering guilt surrounding a meal I enjoyed. Food in France is above all connection, something to be lingered over with friends and family. I have approached food like that ever since, and it has unlocked so much connection.
Gemuck, Senang (Fat, Happy)
Feeling too confident about my ability to live abroad, I undertook a challenge I completely underestimated in 2015. I moved to rural Indonesia to teach English at a Madrasah.
While my host community was incredibly warm towards me, I gave up some personal freedom to be culturally appropriate. Eating with friends became a reason to leave the house. As a result, I learned about a different understanding of healthy.
The horror of my host community was my weight loss, because it signified unhappiness and poverty. Weight gain on the other hand was very explicitly celebrated, because it meant I was happy and well taken care of.
While I never got used to colleagues saying “you are so fat, Ms. Mary,“ I learned to recognize the privilege of eating. Above all, it made eating with my host community even more precious. Their generosity is something I recall whenever I veer into self-pity.
Bottom Line
While there is sadness that my appetite did not blossom in the country I was raised in, I am grateful for my love of food.
Unfortunately, it has been consistently true that female bodies are susceptible to unsolicited feedback across all borders. Therefore, it is essential that we as women internalize kinder self talk, particularly when it comes to nourishing our bodies.
While travel helped me to realize how subjective “a healthy body” really is, maybe the realization will come in a different form for you. Whatever form it comes in, I hope this blog has reminded you that yes, you deserve the big scoop of ice cream.
